Sugar ain't always so sweet

Depression is the new pink, ew.

More to come.

W, the one and only.

Dearest little munchkins,

It has been over a month that I have been neglecting my delicious blog, filled with sexy cream filling and mySEXYself. Many pink & delectable thoughts have crossed my mind over this tremendous lapse of time that I might aswell share with you, due to my never ending boredom:

1-My obsession over Little Jacquie has died, like Valentino's last collection. Oh my...
My ex-favorite cross between an asian dog & featherless chicken (yes, that's EXACTLY what he looks like) turned out to be, well, deprived of having a real buttox. It's like his buns evaporated into thin air. I mean, Little Jacquie, you need to have SOME booty to keep me interested.

2-The Olympics are my bitch. Period. I was thinking, winning silver should be more important than winning gold. I mean, silver is way easier to wear anyways, it matches everything. (Oh and I must congratulate the Russians bringing Natalia Vodianova out yesterday. That is one hot mama. She's obviously one of my prized customers at Wilma's Sexy Bakery.) AND OKAY, maybe I'm somewhat proud to be a Canadian with our new gold medal record and all...

3-With all this new free time I have by not fantasizing about Little Jacquie anymore, I have decided to match my besty new cegep friend 'CleoHOTra' up with the hottest thing alive, which shall be called 'Cheekbones'. More to come on CleoHOTra's situation.

4-Fashion week is boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooring. Snooze. Wake me up when Paris arrives? McQueen should be showing finally! I can't wait, I might just cry out gumdrops.

On that note, I'm off to go play Dora the Naked Eplorer in Phuket & Bangkok, Thaïland. Oh they have the coolest city names over there. PEACE OUT.

W, the one and only.

I'm quite weird, you'll learn to like it.

Speaking of the devil, I was utterly outraged when my sexy & fabulous friend ''Miss Boobs'', or as she surely would prefer ''M'' said something that was quite revolting. I liked it.

Anyways, this is how our enhanced conversation about Little Jacquie sounded like:

Sex Machine William: I'm probably the reason Little Jacquie always goes offline now. Oh yes, FOR SURE. So do I blow Little Jacquie off during our first week? I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
Miss Boobs: *laughs* I think you put an extra 'off' in that sentence
Sex Machine William: *Dying on the floor of laughter* MISS BOOBS, that came out of YOU? OUT OF ALL PEOPLE? I'M SO OUTRAGED!
Miss Boobs: *Giggles* I've been hanging out with you too much.
Sex Machine William: This needs to be immortalized.

& there you have it, I'm a terrible influence.

W, the one and only.

Oh Seigneur

Sex Machine that I am, it is quite easy for me to make myself desirable.
Oh yes, indeed. I think it's time for my first fashion lesson!

Rule Number 1:
W says: Always be a little full of yourself, it helps out with confidence & everyone will notice you.

TRUST ME, I can do the Beyoncé booty shake like no other. My booty is flat as a wall compared to BeyBeyCakes', but my confidence makes everyone love it. Smart, I know. This brings me to my second rule!

Rule Number 2:
W says: Acting like a fool is a GOOD THING. (Well most of the time, I think?)

Let's just say I've acted like QUITE THE FOOL. Generally, everyone loves it & wants to become my friend. I mean, my fashion cakes are quite yummy & desirable. BUT FOR SOME REASON, it didn't work with one person who we shall call ''Little Jacquie''. Little Jacquie drives me CRAZY, and absolutely insane. Maybe he's allergic to my magical fashion sweetness, Maybe I should switch to Splenda? Oh my...

W, the one and only.

Fashion Buzz, I'm the New Queen Bee of Fashion.

Watch out fashioncakes, W is in town. New Year, New Everything. Trends are dead, individuality is now. Why does everyone look the same? Even you fashion followers all look alike. No me gusta. It's time for me to sprinkle some of my fabulous magic sugar onto the sexy fashion world.

Edge is lame, personal style is now, W is now.

W, the one and only.